When I lived in Florida I would sit in church and listen to the testimonies of some of the people who attended - my church was big on that - and wonder what kind of testimony I had?  At the time I really didn't have much to say.  God kept me strong while I dealt with the major issues of my life, and I loved knowing Him better than I ever had, but no real big change in me had taken place.  I volunteered with the youth group and attended various group meetings and could call myself a believer, but that was not a testimony.  A testimony is a huge life change.  I'd been married for many years, had a house and kids and job.  I was a pretty average person.  My simple testimony would have been that God kept me sane while I dealt with an uninvolved husband, a dying mother, and a new baby (at my ripe old age of 41!).

My husband would go to church because he loved the way it looked.  He liked that the Pastor thought he was a good man, when nearly every Sunday as soon as we got into the car to drive home the criticism would start. The singing was way too long, the sermon was bad, the prayer time was stupid and on and on.  It was apparent to me he only went to church for appearances and never got much out of it.  I enjoyed church much more when he stayed home.

Well, now I've got a testimony!  It took many years to happen, and I'm still living in the midst of it, and there is no one to tell - except online.  So this blog will be my testimony to the faith provided, the love everlasting and the hope that is always there, even when it can't be felt.

If you are struggling with life and want to give up - I have been there, oh yes.  Listen to good, Christian music that will touch your soul - I had a favorite CD that I would listen to in the car and cry my eyes out.  "There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary" - Third Day (I love them).  And one of my favorite songs by Mercy Me says, "Even when it feels like there is no one holding me, be still my soul, He is."  And open the Bible - you will be amazed at the verses that seem to be written just for you.  To give you hope.  When you are in the dark pit, you need to hold onto something as God holds onto you - because you may not feel Him, but know that "this too shall pass" - and tomorrow may be a brighter day.  If not, then maybe next week or next year.  We are strong because of him and He is watching to see how we will handle the pressure.  Not because he is mean, but because he has plans for us.  So look past the present and hope for a bright future.  Summer always comes. Believe it.