I've been asking for God to not let me miss what it is he wants me to see / do / be. It's my greatest fear. That I will not see his plan when it is right in front of me.
Have you ever had a strong feeling that something was very right, or very wrong, and yet you ignored it and continued on? Do you have regrets because you chose the wrong path? Most people do, and I wonder if we were more in tune with the overall plan God has for us if life would be sweeter and probably easier. Well, I don't have to wonder, it's obvious - yes! It would be better if we only knew.
God won't drop a notebook from the sky for me to read all about myself, but that would be nice. To know what's coming and to have the answers ready ahead of time. But certainly I can ask that he would make me wise enough to notice, and brave enough to choose the right path and the best answer.
It may sound nuts, but I think that my turbulent life has brought me closer to hearing him. I'm not as impulsive and impatient as I was years ago when I was someone different. Back then I thought I had to be in control - no one else seemed to be. Someone had to take charge and be the grownup. But the flaw was that I really had no control. I lived by someone else's rules and stumbled along doing the best I could under the circumstances. But my little prayer concerning the biggest obstacle in my world was heard "Please God get him out of my life". And prayed it often, even though I doubted it would ever happen.
He was listening, and now I listen too. I travel onward down a road unknown. But the grass is green and my faith is so very strong.
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.
Psalm 116: 1 & 2
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